Thirty way to influence
By way of example: who you are and how you behave?
1. not to say harsh or negative speech: Watch out for this especially when aggravated or exhausted. To your success at abstinence in the circumstances is a refined form of restraint. We succeeded in this work when we refrain from throwing words just made frenzy.
2-patience with others: in times of stress, our impatience is afloat on the surface, the belligerent posture for us to say what we mean. And impatience may appear in the form of grimaces and cycling, this may not be the most words. Patience is the practical expression of confidence, hope, wisdom and love. And patience is not something negative, it is a practical behavior, it's not angry silence. It accepted the fact and natural growth. And in many situations where our patience, such as waiting for someone, listen to the patient and is unloading his emotions despite the urgency of the concerns.
3. differentiated between the person and his or its effectiveness: must maintain communication with the assumption that human value, this does not mean that lose sight of wrong or disgraceful conduct.
4. the services did not know one of you who provided: that the more we work for others without being unwittingly, by the sense of the original value, as does our self-esteem. Such service is one of the most important factors affecting the others.
5. your choice on positive reaction: why limit what he does most of what he does? The reason we do not exercise our ability to choose our responses. That choice means that we get to see it before and then decide what we will do, and that choice means accepting responsibility for our attitudes and behaviour, and we refuse to blame others or circumstances.
6. keep their promises: to construct the promise means that we have influence on others. And so we will fulfil the promises we need to understand ourselves, meaning we're careful selection process of what promises, we will give him our ability to give promises and fulfilled one of our safety standards.
7. focused on circle of influence: when we focus on the area in which we can control which service our influence expanding. An example: many complain that their work does not try to understand their or their problems. But the same who complain may not try to amend an offer consistent with the President's mind and its problems, so we must be heard.
8. the law of love: when carried forward the law of love, we encourage people to accept the laws of life, that people have the flexibility in their inside, especially those who are pretending to. When we know how to listen and listen to them we get timely, and more impact if we have love unconditional, relations and try to control they lose people.
Relationship: to understand and feel the interest in it.
9. Suppose the best prospects in others: that the assumption of good faith would lead to good results, when dealing with others on the assumption that they are doing their best to see things gives you the ability to excite them to do the best they can do. While in contrast when striving to classify others and make them our judgements, this shows that we do not feel safe. That every human being has many dimensions, some Kamen unsown, and most visible, people tend to respond to us by what we think about them. It is probably in the much تسء because the be less.
10. first try to understand: to not try to understand before you want to be understood. The role of playing in front of you, which I understand how he thinks and if for some time. Such behavior requires courage, patience and a sense of security.
11. reward sincere questions and speech: it is regrettable that people abuse of speaking openly and straightening, and the biggest obstacle to productive relationships straight judgement and criticism.
12. I feel the other you understand it: while doing so builds trust relationships in communicating, but such feedback must be honest attitude, not manipulation of the face and mien.
13. here's one if so be the initiating reform of the relationship: they felt offended and engaged in thinking it will make the problem even swells out of control, and when the good relationship, I do so readily without the anger and rage in your heart.
14. admit your mistakes, apologize and ask forgiveness: when to escalate relations, it may be the solution that we recognize at least officials about the crisis. It is not enough to feel this in secret, but often the only solution is to admit error and apologize, and do not offer excuses and defenses.
15. let the controversy unloads himself: if irresponsible accusations and controversy of unyielding, don't do like him, let him speak until what up his sleeve, continue the work you have done, this will make the other corollary to his face. If I drifted to the debate you will taste nostalgic as it will taste her, as your access to it will create more spacing seeds in the future.
16. give priority to personal relationship: his business manager may find very active in its work and in helping many people, but it did not succeed in developing a deep relationship with his wife or his children. The successful development of this noble personality and requires modest and patience more than success with the community. One has defended himself by saying that he neglected to succeed with a large number, this desire to get appreciation and gratitude. We are aware that we need to take the time to give all our attention to the specific person.
17. no ml male aspects that bring you and others: highlighted aspects which unite between you and your friends and family and working with you. Don't make more problems than role aspects of standardization and deepest feelings.
18. make the effect of others you already on your impact: the impact on others as they influence us. The interest in the other's problems make him aware of the naturalistic, and then will open you heart is amazing.
19. accepts the person as it is: the first step in changing the other to embrace it as it is. If you do not accept this, it would take defensive and stop listening to you. Acceptance does not mean you accept the faults, but recognize the original value.
* For the:
20. be prepared in your heart and mind before you are ready with your tongue: the way of saying things may be more important than say, before returning your kids from school and all of them will think needs and adjust yourself, decided to be nice and fun, and decided to listen to them with interest. And so before receiving your wife (or husband), see your abilities on the other, such a decision will enable you to overcome your pains and provoking.
21. avoid positions of attack or defense: in cases of disagreement to avoid what many people when they refer the dispute to the violence, whether the apparent anger or violence to speak of a cynical or hurtful words or criticism. And avoid the Defense whether to withdraw and heartbreak, and directory of all is talking to end the dispute.
22. Select the correct time to education: not all the time for education, people are willing to education when they feel that there is what threatens them, and when you are angry or frustrated, but show respect and kindness and you will be safe within yourself, and not suitable for education as well as when the other needs assistance, on the other hand we are indirect education all the time, because we are constantly demonstrating our reality.
23. He agreed with the other borders, rules and expectations and outcomes: that sense of security due largely to our sense of fairness and justice, and vice versa, life loses its security when the rules and expectations of sudden mood swings.
24. don't give up and don't give up: not animal welfare people to protect them from the consequences of their actions, such protection enables to irresponsible behaviour and teach people to let themselves be desires is the prevailing system, on the other hand, when the oblivious attempts people we discourage their attempts.
25. be present at crossroads: have taken their decisions to us and have far-reaching effects on the basis of emotional visions, how do we protect? The first thing we have to do to think before we react, don't panic, we are well behind the emotion, and not ksmnah as we influence them, and secondly, we know that motivated people move more feelings of thinking, we must learn the language that affect them and learn a foreign language, not imprison not we discard them.
26. use both my reasoning and feelings: that these languages differ from each other, as do the Chinese, Arabic language when good communication does not occur between you and the other, give it enough time and listen to it with sincerity, and express your feelings honestly.
27. other authorized action with confidence: that our other work and the confidence to act demonstrates the courage of us; to work errors, we will reimburse some error and if properly it will take from our reputation and possibly the US, must have authorization, you give it a responsibility, a responsibility.
28. enter people into valuable projects: participation in projects with a value of Hamid on psychology, but the project has value when the President might not have a value when a subordinate, which value is the individual in planning and thinking, both of us need to share in the message of his life, but life has lost its meaning. It is a tension between what we are and what we aspire to.
29. the law of the harvest: trained to know around us the law of land preparation and seed dispersal and plant care and his irrigation and weeding and harvesting, the natural way we learned we harvest what we sowed.
30. natural results learn responsible behavior around you: the best of what we do to let the natural results of behavior of people learning responsible conduct, may not like to face this and may not love us when we let them for the results of their work, but earn people's fleeting command does not support it, let it be justice is our demand, and when we let justice take its course, we have given others love more than block the path of Justice, let justice run its course leaves the sound growth and secure Long term
** Three mistakes to be overcome:
There are three common errors in influencing others:
-The first error: to advise you before to understand: before affecting must understand me, that I have my own unique feelings, before you try to influence must be affected by you unique modes.
-Second error: attempt to fix the relationship without reform attitude or behavior: I've had (Emerson) wise when he said: (what you are shouting in my ear the voice stopped me from that I hear what you are saying).
-The third error: assuming that the good example and the relationship is enough: when mistake this mistake lose sight of the importance of education is obvious, and the solution that often talk about vision, mission, roles, goals and metrics.
And finally here is the truth that communicate more effectively and more compelling than say.
