Treatment of shame, confusion

Treatment of shame, confusion

Causes of severe shyness:

According to mental health experts, severe shyness coming back for three reasons interactive:

-Inheritance.

-Loss of social skills.

-A negative view of the self and the self.

According to the experts themselves, about 10-15% of children are born and have a tendency and willingness to be abnormally are shy, while the rest are either because they are shy without social skills or because of fear of not accepting others, fear of ridicule from others, suggesting loss of self-confidence and self-worth.

The definition of extreme shyness:

Extreme shyness as a concept, it is very difficult to define, but according to the health experts could be described as a kind of social anxiety which cause feelings ranging from anxiety and stress the simple to the feelings of horror and panic obvious in psychology is classified under diseases of the anxiety and stress, particularly since the end of extreme shyness is loneliness and isolation from society,

Both are major causes of depression may results, this means that with extreme shyness will develop mental health worse.

Symptoms of disease:

Shyness is not normal like any other psychological pressure leads to the rise of the Group of symptoms under three divisions:

1. behavioral symptoms include:

-Lack of talk and speak in the presence of strangers.

-Consideration of anything except of talking with him.

-Avoid meeting strangers or unknown individuals.

-Tight feeling when having to begin talking first.

 

-Inability to talk and speak at social events and feel great embarrassment if he or she was assigned.

-High frequency in voluntary individual or social functions (with others).

2. physical symptoms include:

-Increased pulse.

-Problems and stomach pains.

-Moisture and perspiration in hands and hands.

-Strong heart beats.

-Dryness of the mouth and throat.

-Flutter and involuntary shivering.

3. emotional symptoms (feelings of inner psychic) include:

-Sense and focus on the self.

-A sense of embarrassment.

-Sense of insecurity.

-Try to stay away from the limelight.

-Feelings of inferiority.

 

amounts toward self and what happens to be the focus of attention and focus they have is the extent of their influence on others and how others perceive them,

So this focus on internal self and feelings of inferiority and confusion that happens to them in the presence of others or when dealing with others, with extreme shyness lose the ability to pay attention and focus on others and feel the feelings of others,

Thus increasing social exclusion suffered by an individual who is a shame.

Remedies severe shyness:

Extreme shyness is a social problem widespread, so the experts sociology focused their efforts on finding ways and means to address this phenomenon, there are specialized clinics dealt with the problems of severe shyness in the following ways:

-The education and training of individuals sick social skills of communication and interaction with others.

-Teach thinking patterns and logical in dealing with others.

-Education and training to increase patient confidence in himself and his abilities and its importance as an individual in society.

-Face and eliminating the causes of shyness through exposing the patient to positive social experiences, one of these methods is the so-called representation or role-playing and attitudes, so that the patient pretending to represent a positive role in causing embarrassment to the patient such as pretending to communicate with others and start talking with them over time turns pretending and representation to the behavior in real life.

-Trained to take the lead in helping to get rid of shyness through to the performance of a particular thing. Either likes to do or need to do but don't do it timid.

It offers scholars and mental health meeting the following tips for patients with severe shyness:

-Write on paper what you plan to do and causes of vibration do then values yourself by recording how many times you actually implement what you intend and determined to do, and what happened to you after I implemented what you intend.

-Work immediately to develop social skills

-Redness and face.

-According to zimbardo, development of social skills for communication and interaction with others is an urgent need in the treatment of severe shyness. And the following tips if followed will be the beginning of the road in the development of social skills

-Be the first to talk with others and the best means of opening talk is praise or express admiration in particular or something in others.

 

 

 

 

-The daily five greeting strangers, at least not to them and don't forget to be smiling when receiving tribute.

-Get out of the market and ask for specific places or stores even though you know where it is and how to access them, it is important that others talk and don't forget that I asked them to thank their kindness and the kindite Kingdom emerged when arshadok to the requested address.

General tips in treating severe shyness:

Professor Philip zimbardo, a psychology expert and the interest in the phenomenon of social shyness as a leading research and studies of shame in the United States, at Stanford University.

According to zimbardo author of shyness, shyness when appropriate to the situation is positive and reflects the recipe feature specification literature and polite and decent manners add specifications of taste and tact, humility and kindness, and certainly all of these specifications are considered positive.

Anyway, shame as he calls negative author, is a bug that occurs in social behavior of an individual to that shame is unjustified and bad psychological consequences for the individual, including the deteriorating mental health.

Zimbardo continues to provide advice to people with severe shyness:

1. try to write a letter to yourself when you have internal feelings about a particular subject and want to express it, and if you are not willing to write a fair use a tape recorder to the tape or read the message after registration or write.

2. try to gain confidence in yourself and your abilities through writing weaknesses as seen in a special column type for each attribute vulnerability or anti your weak point example:

 

-Don't trust others __ I trust myself.

-Others hate me _ _ _ _ I loved by others.

-Modesty of faith _ _ _ _ the hand of God Congregation

3. After writing conflicting feelings, try to think for yourself and your behavior that you have specifications and health principles (on the right).

4. try to imagine positions will cause you anxiety, confusion and embarrassment you shy, try instead to think about what you would do if you aren't shy daily continued along the same lines for a week and then if you experience on the ground has applied what I thought.

5. put yourself in line, both in bus stops or the supermarket or restaurant hummus and falafel or Government departments.

6. don't forget to take your last job and start talking with you in front of you or behind you in question is suitable for the position of the column from that question follow modern emotional logo.

7. carry a book or something remarkable attention raises the curiosity of many, and be ready to answer questions or other feedback

 

Don't be nice too!!!!

Don't be nice too!!!!

Try to always do what they expect you to others, and is keen not to hurt their feelings, to help friends and relatives whenever they need you and avoid harassment even if provoked your anger, if you are a nice person and you love and ensure that describes you people so.

However if carefully think of attitudes ' kind ' you'll discover it's often ' defeatist ' attitudes was saying yes when I should say no, or pretends to calm when angry, or resort to lying to you fears hurt the feelings of others, and may bear burdens on your so as not to embarrass people dear to you. You are to maintain interpersonal gracefully committed many errors that may negatively affect your business and social relationships.

One of the biggest mistakes of the of a gentleness was the tendency to perfection, great pressure, and strenuous effort requires for self-assertion, and do various tasks to the fullest, as well as the permanent gratification of others.

We must here clarify that try to access to perfect in itself is not a flaw, but it becomes wrong when you might develop unrealistic standards for yourself, or cause you don't have an effort or time or money, or when they become an obsession to impede your performance for your business.

The first step to correcting this error is to believe (not mere words) that there is a full and accept your shortcomings, then comes the realization that perfection is not the only way to acquire the acceptance of others.

Besides the tendency for perfect Duke Robinson summarizes in writing ' don't be too nice ' other errors where the friendly people on a daily basis, including:

-Greater commitments from your energy: usually without feel drop us kindness in trouble, either say no to someone you love asks us something you feel selfish and guilty, or try to do whatever we are asked, ruled our energy.

-Not to say what you want: and may resort to it because you think it's inappropriate socially, or do not want to look weak, or afraid of rejection or do not want to cause embarrassment to the one you love.In any case, the non-disclosure of your feelings and your requirements and keep what you want for others your will to mental illness and may also dissipate organic features of your personality.

-Suppress your anger: the point here is to maintain calm nerves while you boil as a result of exploitation of others you or harm to your feelings, which is some kind of falsification and lying to oneself and to others, and to not suppress your anger does not mean start to arise as the volcano, all you have to show the others to conduct harassing you so as not to duplicate.

-Avoid the truth: to be nice always you often avoid telling the truth so as not to embarrass others but that does not help you and not them, you must tell the truth with humility and sensitivity.

For example: If saltak your wife what you think about Chinese potato which you do not like, do not have to lie and say it was fantastic, there is no need to be rude and say it was bad, but you can answer that you usually like potatoes from her hand but tastes this time was slightly different.Thus came the impasse with fewer losses.

People can often do things that others expect of them, and trying to satisfy their requirements, without that hurt their feelings, without losing their temper. When attacked by others without discretion, maintain their kindness and calm.

However, these friendly people as corrupt, these good intentions, help others, and spoke and acted with all this wonderful level of tact, are feeling the fatigue and frustration and lack of self-confidence.

These behaviors in the friendly persons in good faith, in the usual way, reverse the impact their relationships, and extracted their delight.

The day after our behaviors, terrible madness, and steals valuable time and energy are the most precious asset we have, and summarizes these behaviors with nine errors counterproductive, and is worthwhile because we little thought and effort we can stop doing:

• To free ourselves from the obligation to others ' expectations of us, we are not convinced.

• Can say: no, if necessary, and that pure ourselves take no stand.

• Tell others what we want from them, and that we receive.

• To express our anger in a way that heals, and preserve our relationship.

• To respond effectively when security people or criticize without discretion.

• To inform our friends the truth when air.

• Take care to others without the burden of attempting to manage their lives.

• To help our friends and your loved ones who tend to destroy themselves to regain their mental health.

• Take our competence, benefiting us when faced with pain and grief.

It is well known that women suffer greater social pressure than men to be kind, and most people think that men don't have the same level of kindness of women, but whether you're a man or a woman, nice nice you may be repeatedly falling into these nine errors to your damage.

To get rid of minor mistakes does not mean stop to be nice, but just help us rationalize additional effort made to keep on dealing gently at all times often come at the expense of our nerve and our comfort.

Of the book don't be too nice to author Duke Robinson.

Important terms in self-improvement

Important terms in self-improvement

The development of science is the study and development of individual and community capacity in the area of behavioral science.

And specialization have known industrial psychology and organizational

Industrial \ Organizational Psychology

It is studied in forensic science in humaine.

* Self development and culture: _

Culture (Culture)

Is the process of exchange of information and knowledge about the environment surrounding the community

Through a set of tools, methods, and techniques.

To reflect on the value and trends and behavior.

* Values (Values)

Is set of convictions that define individual preferences, and specify the balance of things,

And what is right and wrong, and acceptable and unacceptable.

* Orientation (Attitude)

Is the tendency or mental and psychological preparedness for responding to something or someone or a certain position.

* Behavior

Is the set of actions and expressions of internal and external (non-phenomenon phenomenon)

The individual on track to meet its requirements and adjustment requirements

The social context in which they live, and is a means to achieve its objectives.

 

* Basic concepts to learn human behavior: _

# Motivation

Motivation is an external requirement within individual offset raises tension internally driven to respond to particular conduct

In order to satisfy this requirement.

If it leads to saturation----> satisfaction

If it does not lead to satisfying----> foil

# Incentives

Are external forces generate internal energy paid an individual to make an extra effort to get more gratification.

Completion rate

XD = desire * knowledge * ability.

Theories of motivation: _

1. consolidation theory:-

The supporters of the theory of reinforcement reinforcement that support direct and stimulate individual,

And the following to the humanitarian disposition affect the likelihood of recurrence of the individual to act

The level of performance expected in the following times.

If an individual pursuant to completed it is expected a reaction or feedback from others,

If the reaction is positive, the individual tends to repeat already,

Or better, depending on the reaction, if the reaction is negative,

Perhaps this omission.

2. theory of goal setting: _

See the draw and stimulates the individual, it is not enough to encourage them to do the best it can do your best

But must be precisely defined goals, the ambitious goal,

Upon acceptance of the person and his conviction, it works by itself as an incentive,

Better than soft targets or are not.

Also see feedback strengthens motivation and help to continue.

It is believed that one of the most important factors to increase the influence of objective as an incentive: the conviction and commitment of purpose

Commitment, and belief in the ability to do self-efficacy.

 

3. theory of expectations: _

The theory of expectations that individual behavior have a series of relationships as follows: _

The individual lead effort expected to lead to improved performance or behavior

If you improve performance or behavior that an individual is expected to be its appreciation

And if the appreciation is expected to satisfy this appreciation has subjective requirement.

Fisheries decision-making

Beauty salon (packaging sugar sugar coating).

InQ (after all they spent that prompts me to change).

Over-confidence (reassure: I can change whenever you want).

The process of self-development

Aims to develop the capacity to become more capable of achieving our objectives efficiently and effectively.

What is the process of change: _

Are any activities that lead to actually make is different from normal.

Development process: _

Deliberate planned activities are designed to improve practice.

Capacity: _

Is mental and muscular capability to perform a task or job.

Efficiency and effectiveness: _

Efficiency

Is the ability to work with the best use of resources. That is the number of units used from any resource to carry out the work.

Effectiveness: _

Is the ability to achieve planned goals. I.e. proportion than to the overall target.

 

When the individual feels the need for change: _

Acquire new information led to a change in trends.

The emergence of new needs is not saturated.

A decline in performance in comparison to past performance.

A decline in performance compared to others.

The evolution of cultural or educational level.

Exposure to external or internal pressure makes it imperative for individual change.

Types of change: _

Amendment: _

(Small sequential progress changes – self – to accommodate unexpected circumstances).

Compatibility:-

(Small sequential phased changes – under an external effect HHhhhh – to fit the reality of noob).

Adaptation: _

(Critical changes-to accommodate unexpected circumstances).

Reconstruction: _

(Critical changes under external HHhhhh effect – to fit the reality of noob).

The reasons for the success of change: _

Change your optional "forced".

Change meets the requirement.

I have knowledge of the steps necessary to bring about change.

The change to the progressive phases "unsurprised".

I enjoy my feeling of accomplishment.

I've taken adequate precautions that help me to continue.

I've helped others to also change during a phase change.

It was not possible to continue the previous situation.

 

Why the change:.

The current situation is not too bad, and I used it.

There are many in case worse.

What will the new situation.

I've been thinking about a lot in the saftkodha habits with this change.

A long road to change.

The environment around me did not help me.

I don't know how to change.

There are no catalysts to continue to change.

Stages of change: _

The formulation of the vision.

Mobilization and motivation (why must change – present reality damage. the expected benefits of the new reality).

Support (what I need – new friends-old friends behaviour development-accompanying new habits).

Implementation (schedule-score review-progress goals).

Follow-up (documenting achievements – amendment when needed – consulting and additional information).

Appreciation (bonus self – sense of achievement – share).

Islamic curriculum change: _

1. persuasion need to change

(Luqman said to his son as the son does not preach him engage in God).

(Ya Bani sails and not been unbelievers).

(Ya Bani tkoss not seeing on your brothers, they be about to you Kida).

2. narrative method combined with lesson and sermon for examples

(Is a modern Muse .... ATAC ...).

(ATAC ... soldiers talk.).

3. simulation and imaging of target mode and return it (paradise and bliss)

 

4. simulation and imaging mode is desired and return it (hell, purgatory)

5. promote the righteous and accompany the righteous (not your village)

6. the prohibition on mixing with the corrupt

7. promote the determination and follow-up (and exalt yourself with those who claim their Lord and not your eyes)

8. progressive implementation (wine)

9. to urge the immediate commencement and not procrastinating (hurry-Malcolm if you said should athakltm)

10. provide alternatives (replacing a delicacy and deprived of all evils – denied to you ..... And below,

The campus thug and solve marriage)

Change: _

Is the transition of the situation (a) to (b) across the road (a-b)

XD = desire * knowledge * capacity

Knowledge: _

Easily accessible from attending lectures, reading books – success stories.

Consult specialists and experienced.

 

Capacity: _

Determine availability of muscle and mental energy and intellectual, and lead to the decision to enter into the experience,

Or need to develop capacities before entering into the experience.

Desire: _

An internal matter concerning the strength of the stimulus to the new situation, and the power of dissonance with the current situation.

Permission: _

Change only from the inside, and no matter how the experienced help us

The change will not happen unless they desired him and we started.

(That God does not change the condition of a people until they change it themselves). .

Practical steps to change: _

-Select your goals in life (how to worship God).

-Identified areas of change and priorities.

-Trust double interest (change and reward wrestle with the self).

-Trust in your ability to accomplish the change with God.

-Select stages of achievement and score to continue and be patient.

-The body of the current situation harms to yourself.

-Bone in yourself the target situation advantages.

-Start immediately.

-Analysed the constraints change carefully.

-Be sure to provide useful alternatives to previous habits.

-Encouraging your colleagues and your family to change with you.

-Read success stories and learn from them.

-Not the environment or is in the environment (accompanying help you, who hinder you dimension).

-Reward yourself every success.