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Monday, February 4, 2013

Do you suffer in your relationships?

Do you suffer in your relationships?
The first scene

Khaled employee ranked eighth in a government job ordinary person who dedicated her work hasMany diverse relationships just like us but he suffers from his family isAlways in the case of problems with his family either with his wife or with his children but seeks labored inDevelop this relationship happened one day that he had an important meeting at work, and he was collectingPapers and processed out of the door quickly and suddenly collided with Chbandr workers and spilled coffeeCoffee on his papers and his clothes cried Khaled his face Chbandr and wanted to Altmh but the intervention in favor ofKhaled coworker But Khalid did not stop cursing and humiliation in a state of furySaleh was trying to calm Khalid but he says he was troubled sat Khaled Saleh was calmedSays to him, Khalid has something worthy of all this anger and Khalid is that he can notTo control his emotions and anger

Saleh said to him, but you hurt Chbandr individual Khaled and why I do it why did not notice the waySaleh said and you also why did not notice Khaled disturbed individual who notice I'm not ...



This site happens to all of us, but a different scenario is not it?


Scene II

Week after Khalid has an important meeting and when he came out of the door collided in favor, along with a cup of coffeeAnd spilled coffee on Khalid papers and clothes and annoyed Khalid but to control his temper and got startedAdmonishes Saleh Why did not you pay attention to your steps have messed up all my papers, and I have an important appointment utteredKhaled clearly disturbed




Scene III:

Khalid had an important appointment and with his papers and was sitting on his desk and entered a section manager speaksEnthusiastically with favor and without notice to the office coffee Khaled dropped coffee on KhalidHis papers and clothes, apologized but Director Khalid smiled a small smile and said nothing happened!!




Scene IV

Khalid had an important appointment, along with important papers and he was walking in the corridor that leads to a room DirectorSuddenly, out Chairman and with a cup of coffee and spilled coffee on Khalid on his cardsAnd clothes Ftdhir Director immediately but Khaled began apologizing that he did not notice the way that unfortunatelyThis is wrong!



This unexpected scenario of what happens to us in our relationship with others ...



What is the difference that occurred between the first location with Chbandr and last site with the Chairman of the Board of Directors?



Khaled says that he can not control his temper with Chbandr but with the Chairman of the Board of DirectorsProved to be a high capacity can be controlled in the feelings and emotions?

What is the difference? What changed?



How could? How can we? What is the secret to that?






The secret lies in the subject of control ..

Controlled on the outside when you lose control on the inside and when you lose control on the outsideGo your control on the inside and we mean inside feelings and emotions in the previous exampleKhalid feels that he controlled entirely on Chbandr and therefore it leaves his feelings without tryingTo control it Virkha wreak havoc in his relationship with Chbandr Anyone who feels controlHis wife, his sons

In the case in favor of Khalid does not feel control he feels equally and thus expressedFeelings, frustrated by Saleh and adjust the reaction we can say that the controls for 50%And thus the rest of the control-oriented reaction and so when he moved to the Director became 80% of theAbilities directed toward reaction at the last position was not controlled by the Director-General turned allAbilities to control his emotions and set out to do and thus control of the other harmful and deadly and destructiveUnfortunately, we seek to control the love and control and hence Navem will the responses of our actionsThey are people like us and Oglahm closest to our hearts, we find Father yelling atHis son and punished harshly smile when someone else's mistakes right and tell him that your son is more deservingPeople adjust your feelings that parents deserving people adjust your feelings that your spouse is more deserving people adjustFeelings and the same is said for the mother and son and brother



You are responsible for controlling your feelings if you find problems in your life with some of the people closestYou who make your life for them as Ask yourself do you feel to control them? Observe your relationshipsThem?

Control hurt inadvertently and unconsciously because they make us feel that others should be subject to our rulesLife must respond to our requests, even those applications that did not ask to make othersFollow us and paying attention to the smallest details of our needs and our feelings, although we do not observe what makes them feelبذواتهم and their rights, we give what they need they are and what makes them under control and does not constitute usBurden or a big challenge when I feel anger you do not stop to make sure that you are in control

I remember in high school I had a friend superior Pakistani national curriculum is characterized by the magnitude ofHis body is very large and remarkably we were in a car that is one of my relatives and our car was smallAnd in order to be able to enter to have to expand the front seat and he was sitting and knees in front ofChest happened that shocked a car in which a group of women came down the driver of that car threatens and vowsWhen I got I was a formality creates more anger and try to attack and she told him that the situationSimple and that the subject does not deserve all this screaming replied with all kinds of insults and I told him thatProblem with the owners of the car, not with me in the meantime took my neighbor and began genie out of thePakistani car began my friend out of the car and was scary with that size was HadiFoul when he saw the man got out of the car to open his eyes and changed his face and changed NbrathMay God guide said aware of the way with safety and rode his car and moved quickly ..

At first he felt control and when he felt out of control his reaction changedThus people whenever feeling control Astalo in the ground and in the injustice people

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